Being Right

It appears these days that the United States is at an all time low point in its standing with the international community. It seems straightforward to pin that on a particular recent period in our history, with a singularly unpopular administration, an unpopular war, and an international economic crisis which many lay at the door step of the United States. Yet the seeds of this antipathy have been there for decades, if not centuries. It may be worth considering the root causes of this lack of international alignment between the US and its international counterparts to see if there are lessons for the coaching community. Why this level of hostility? Why do other countries interpret what we Americans see as well justified confidence as arrogance? Can coaches glean any lessons that apply to their dialogues with their clients?

America is a country with a very strong self image. From our beginnings, Americans have felt a unique calling to leadership, driven by very strong beliefs in the rightness of our democratic institutions and our “manifest destiny”, first to populate our large country with a European culture and ultimately to lead the rest of the world to similar models and presumably, similar levels of “success”.

What’s wrong with being right and acting on that belief? Isn’t that the moral, courageous thing to do?

In his excellent book, Language and the Pursuit of Happiness, Chalmers Brothers makes the case that people’s view of what is “right” is strongly driven by their experiences (which over time drive their belief systems), their moods, and their physical environment. What’s “right” for me (or for my group, my company, or my country) is a function of all three, and over time, it becomes institutionalized as an absolute truth. As individuals or groups struggle with setting a direction or making a decision, it is comforting to rest on what they believe to be universal truths regarding the rightness of that path. The problem is that their very definition of rightness is a unique product of very different sets of cultures, experiences, beliefs, and the moods which surround them. So a relationship or action strategy founded on the notion of “rightness” may be in trouble from the start. Once we accept a specific definition of what is right, we are closed off from considering other realities, other stories. History is full of cases where countries or groups have committed unspeakable atrocities in full belief in the rightness of those actions in supporting a particular belief system.

So what is the implication for coaches?

Our job is to help our client use every resource at their disposal to get the full view, as full as they can possible make it. It helps to begin with the assumption that none of us have total access to “the truth”. If a client (and their coach) can accept that, then it is easier to challenge the idea that a different idea, a different story, is necessarily “not right”. The coach can explore with the client what set of experiences or observations led them to a particular belief. Instead of asking about right or wrong, they can substitute another set of questions: How is that working for you? Could it be different and still equally valid? How would that impact your beliefs, your mood, your direction, and your plan of action? Our ability as coaches to help our clients become clear about their possibilities is directly driven by our abilities to help them develop clarity about the impact of their beliefs on their perceptions of the new challenge, and the ability to envision a different reality

With a fresh way to interpret their experience, the coach can help the client write a different story that works better for them.

Your Culture is Your Best Teacher

It was the spring of 1981 and I had just joined Hewlett-Packard as a sales representative. I was drinking from the fire hose. It was my first sales job and I was learning a new career as well as a new company.

It was a heady time for HP. We were undisputed leaders in our market and were growing rapidly in the general business expansion of that time. What I observed around me was a great deal of youthful energy, and the primacy of our new products and their contribution to the markets we served. One example of that was how we interacted with our product divisions. When the divisions came to town, it was a natural rallying event for the sales force. We gathered after hours, shared drinks and refreshments with the visitors, and then grilled them mercilessly for the latest intelligence about markets, competitors, new products. They in turn grilled us for what we were seeing on the front lines. It was intense, but it happened in an atmosphere of shared commitment and collegiality. I found it wildly invigorating.

Looking back on it, I was learning powerful lessons from the corporate and local cultures within HP. As a company, our values included a commitment to technology and making a differentiated contribution to the state of the art in our markets. That had started with Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard in 1939 and it was a cornerstone of HP culture. The behavioral norms I observed in the Dallas sales team included:

1. The willingness to dedicate after hours time to take advantage of the opportunities afforded by the visit.
2. The importance of blending professional and social interaction in building teamwork across the company.

I was also figuring out how to get things done inside HP. The factory relationships that I built over a beer and snacks would enable me later to find my way to the right product development team to get a special feature I would need to close a major sale. I didn’t learn that in a breakout session within a newcomers’ orientation course. We were living it every day, and I learned it in a way that no workshop could teach me.

As a consultant, I have seen many very promising initiatives die on the vine for lack of full adoption. I believe that there are important considerations here for leaders who are considering some form of training to drive an organizational change:

• Aggressively test the new ideas and behaviors against the prevailing cultures. Are they complementary or likely to clash?
• Where the new behaviors are not tightly linked to or supported by the culture, treat the project as a change management challenge. Acknowledge the time, effort, and money it will take to integrate them into the DNA of the organization. Does the benefit justify the investment?
• Consider the long-term impact that you are seeking. As cultures take years to form, it will likely take years for the organization to fully embrace the new ways as “just the way we do things around here”. Can you afford the time? Will the benefits endure over the time it takes to realize them?

Your culture is your best teacher. Put it to work on your most important change initiatives.